Friday, April 4, 2008

My Night Out....Didn't Happen!

This was definately one of those days I should've stayed in bed.  Even though it was sunny and warm this morning events always seem to conspire to sucker me in before throwing a monkey wrench into the plans!

I was ready and raring to head out this afternoon with Son, to start our afternoon/evening out.  Well the phone rang and our 3 o'clock appointment got moved up to 2 o'clock.  An hour difference shouldn't throw everything into disarray but then, we're talking about me, aren't we?

We left the house, we returned, we left the house ~ getting AWAY from our street was quite the task!  Seems my memory hung up with the phone receiver, changing the appointment time.  Son and I actually made the autism appointment which was impressive when you figure that I got lost and zipped around various streets, tearing out corners and almost driving over curbs trying to find the darn place on time.  So much for pride as in, "oh sure I remember where you are located".  Yeah within a 5 mile radius though.  Let's not bring up the fact that the office is situated in a small school that is in itself hidden on a hillside.

Following the visit, during which time son must have handled every freakin' thing in that place (the director noted how busy he was.  No kidding lady - I LIVE with the boy!), off son and I went to the mall.  The idea was to shop, eat and then head off to the movies.

Ha ha ha.  Trouble brewed almost right away.  We actually made it into the mall and had eaten a small snack and we were perusing the music store.... when son's eyes popped open and he clutched his stomach and nether regions and indicated frantically that something bad was about to happen.  It always happens when there is no bathroom nearby and the closest one is in the furthest corner of a big department store.  It was a nasty walk there, folks.  Wondering if he'd make it, even.  Details about the next half hour will remain vague except to report that it involved son sneaking into ladies room and sobbing because he wasn't a girl but needed some help and I absolutely refused to go into the men's washroom.....   you`d think in this day and age every place with a bathroom would also have the separate handicapped/family washroom?  Hello?  Zellers, are you listening??!!

Okay, so after we survived that fiasco, we started back with Plan A.  Back to the music store to carry on.  The reprieve lasted but a minute before son turned splotchy red and white and announced he was going to throw up and probably shit himself at the same time (his words, not mine).  We made it half way down the mall before I basically pushed his head into a garbage can and he started puking.

I just love young adults or people who have no kids.  They still have shame and ideals they dearly hang on to, and NOT barfing in public is one of them.  Given how frequently son used to puke everywhere, I no longer have any shame or sense of embarrassment.  They were lucky I thought to dunk his head into a garbage can so they were spared being spattered by projectile vomit.  I asked the nearby kiosk for a bag and the sales clerk actually had the gall to look offended.

Gee.... how dare I ask for a bag when I hadn't purchased anything from them?  I smiled sweetly and said either my son could hang around and puke his guts out in front of their customers,or they could give me a bag so I could sheppard him out of the mall safely.  I got a bag.  The social skills training we've been working on hasn't covered this scenario so he's  racing down the mall with his head in his bag and his other hand holding the seat of his pants in case liquid expelled from that end.  I'm hissing at him to remove his hand from his butt because people were staring enough already and who knows?  Someone might actually KNOW us!!

We made it out of the mall  and even home before he was sick again.  Poor thing.  He'd been looking forward to this evening with me all week and was quite upset our plans were flushed down the toilet, so to speak.  So instead of dinner and a movie, I ended up hitting the dollar stores looking for stuff to make his Ogopogo social studies fair display.  We are making an actual model in addition to the bristol board presentation.

You people out there with cute babies?  You have NO idea what you are in for.  NO idea at all.  Send your baby back ~ NOW, before it's too late!  School projects might just as well be called Mommy-and-Daddy-projects-with-kiddy's-help-so-his-project-looks-as-good-as-all-the-other-displays-made-by-Junior-but-really-by-his-parents-too.  It's a competitive world out there and there will be late nights and all-nighters for reasons you are NOT going to believe!!

I learned something important about a sister-in-law yesterday.  Open wounds make her very woozy, very fast.  She had just begun to pet our kitty George when I warned her to avoid the gaping wound on his neck.  She then glimpsed it and I haven't seen anyone move that fast in a looooong time!   She isn't quite like her brother (my husband) though.  HE used to pass out at the sight of blood.  She only needed a chair and some air.  SIL, I apologize for your trauma and will make sure never to expose you to such a horrific sight again!  (The sore was supposed to be out of sight as I purchased a toddler's size 3 white t-shirt at Walmart that fit him very well.  Except he wasn't wearing it this morning when I got up and I couldn't find it until I cleaned the kitty litter this afternoon. Yuck.  How did he get it off in there anyway? don't bother answering that, George.  Some things I just don't need to know.)


So my day finished sooner than expected and certainly not how I planned!  The icing on the cake is that it is SNOWING again out there.... geez, enough already!  I have some pictures to post which I will do in another day or so, depending on cranky I get.  Son does a good job of grinding me down when it comes to homework and school fairs...that translates into not so pretty arguments and usually some shouting.  Except I can't shout because  all I do is cough instead.  That sucks!  What kind of a mother am I that I can't yell back at my kid?  That's an unfair advantage on his side if you ask me!  If we survive the upcoming weekend ordeal and have a presentable Ogopogo (Canada's version of the Loch Ness Monster) then I'll post a picture or two of that as well.  Just as a treat.  For sticking with me through the bad stuff and hanging in there and admiring the nice stuff.  It's fun to blog and post pictures ~ makes me think someone actually cares about what's going on at our house!!  Hope you have a decent weekend and please don't post any pictures of spring or flowers where you live.... I couldn't handle that given our grey, bleak weather again!


Julie said...

Hi, Patricia,

No, I won't write about spring or flowers. None of that here. We were supposed to get 5-7 inches of wet, heavy snow last night but fortunately it all went south of us.

Sorry you didn't get your lovely outing. The best laid plans of mice and men, as they say.

I just gave your blog address to a blogger whose son has just been diagnosed with Asperger's. I hope you don't mind.

I had a not-so-great week this week. Let's hope next week is better for the both of us.

Susan said...

Hi sis, that is really a shame for Mathew. Hope you can rebook it soon, because as soon as he's feeling better, he's going to want to go out again with you....and as for kids being sick, Holly-Anne threw up in the bathroom at school, so I had just arrived at work, settled in, when I got the phone call, and off I went back to get her. I'm sorry for you too, because it was supposed to be your fun day with Mathew, too!

good luck with Ogopogo...what are you going to build him out of? Papier mache? egg carton shapes are easier....

we are supposed to get snow on the weekend, when it gets cold again - we had snow last Friday but thankfully all melted immediately - am getting fed up with snow being everywhere, although the kids got out and played outside all weekend, bringing out the chalk, trucks, one tricycle (can't get to the shed, blocked by snow and ice, where the bikes are). We even have windows open!!!

give Mathew a hug, and yourself one too. I've been there, done that with the homework that I and Bill did for duncan, all those projects I thought I finished with at my school, but no, our kids somehow wait til the last minute!! the kids end up helping US do their homework!!! go figure....

Terri said...

Oh my lord, what a catastrope!

If it makes you feel any better, as my Dad became increasingly disabled last summer, he began to lose bowel and bladder control and had the odd incident, but nothing major.

So he and Mom are in Wal-mart one day (he insisted on going with her, despite the fact that it took her 5x longer to get her stuff done with him with her). He goes into the men's room at one point and doesn't emerge. Eventually a man comes out and asks Mom, "is that your husband in there? I think he had an accident".

Well, Dad had diarrhea and crapped his pants. Thank GOd for Walmart. And my dear mother has to go buy new jogging pants and underwear and wipes and runs back to spend 30 minutes IN THE MEN's ROOM cleaning him up. She was mortified. He was mortified (having no control). It all sounds funny now but it must have been an hour from HELL. Mom laughs at it now. You really should give her a call. : )

Hope you are recovered!!!!!!