tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5228824667105642290.post8907697576592195950..comments2008-08-27T01:00:54.228-03:00Comments on Lady P's Cozy Corner: One Year and Counting....Patriciahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11256567414059449423noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5228824667105642290.post-27421841267135338852008-06-23T21:54:00.000-03:002008-06-23T21:54:00.000-03:00Hey sis - long time no hear - it's been hard to ge...Hey sis - long time no hear - it's been hard to get on. It took most of May to get my strength back because of the anemia. I basically went to work, came home, made supper, and collapsed. It's better now, but I look at all the green trees and wonder how it happened so quickly!!!<BR/><BR/>Toby has not managed to make any friends of his own. Because he works casual jobs (as you know with the government) he doesn't have that stability and while he's met colleagues he likes, he hasn't met anyone he really has connected with. He is very good with my friends, but they're not his. He never had a wide circle anyway, and I think we are discovering that it's hard to make friends at our age because families and friends are all set. I have my friends from before, and friends at work, but no one knew (though I know lots of women because of the kids now). I hope in the next year or two you will meet one or two special people that you can go to movies with, eat out with. It sounds like you need to have some time away for yourself every once in a while. I call them mental health breaks - and you just had a year of one, which I think you really needed. I wish you could take more time off, because having Mathew doesn't make it easy to return to work. He doesn't like changes to his schedule, and not having you near makes him panic, is what it sounds like. and what he will do later on - I hope he is able to live in a community home where he can have work and a group around him, is what I dream for him. And not when you are gone, either!! You and John have been as good as you can be with Mathew, and too bad for your co-workers who don't understand what he needs- though I know it's so hard on you, and that's hardly fair. It sounds like you enjoy your job, and the part-time hours are working, so fingers crossed for everyone. you get to meet people - adult people! conversation not about 'how to have fun today with son'!!! - but adult stuff.....at least your kids don't need a babysitter, Toby and I get out together like twice a year!! Somedays I think, is the bus ride home the only time I get to myself? I guess the key is, to like our lives as they are. And despite winter storms, and summer ones now, it sounds like New Brunswick has been good for all of you. Kirsten certainly is blossoming, and John has a job, and you have a house you like on a lake!!! *with eagles* !!! <BR/><BR/>love Susan <BR/>PS Holly-Anne graduates from kindergarden on Wednesday!!! *sniff* she's growing up too!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09095246748581382752noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5228824667105642290.post-20508524109929799772008-06-04T17:27:00.000-03:002008-06-04T17:27:00.000-03:00Hey dear girl, me again! I really should email yo...Hey dear girl, me again! I really should email you, shouldn't I?<BR/><BR/>Yes, we have Mike Holmes book and I adore him. :)<BR/><BR/>I agree with you that toxic people need to be removed from our lives and it is hard with family, isn't it? It is complicated because we feel attachment, and even love amidst the hate. But you have to withdraw yourself from people who cause you constant pain and threaten your family's spiritual health. I, for one, can't deal with stressful people, not after the childhood I had. If there is too much drama and disfunction with people, I make myself scarce!!<BR/><BR/>I don't think I actually forgave my Dad. I am still furiously angry with him. I think what I was able to do is realize that he is a different person now, and that he is unwell and is not accountable any more. I have let him be his "new self" and will take that at face value. I cannot keep harboring this anger for a man who doesn't even realize he did anything wrong. It is complex. I am very angry still, and nothing is "forgiven". I have just let it go, which is somehow different. I will still tell the same story of my life, but somehow the story got changed in the end and will influence how I tell it to myself. It is complicated!<BR/><BR/>Hope you are well and in a peaceful place today! xo TerriWindlosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17014227226507484798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5228824667105642290.post-9537088898555964272008-06-02T16:30:00.000-03:002008-06-02T16:30:00.000-03:00Hello, sweet lady P! Just thought I would pop ove...Hello, sweet lady P! Just thought I would pop over for a second and here is this long and lovely and sad and beautiful post of yours.<BR/><BR/>I hope you know that you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. It is obvious that your plate is FULL with your son and his demands, and anyone who would question you just doesn't get it.<BR/><BR/>My Mom worked full time and dealt with my disabled Dad for 15 years, and I can tell you, he was an asshole a lot of the time. She was chronically exhausted, worn out, on the verge of collapse, and never ever was able to put herself first. It is nice for the Oprahs of the world who say to "put yourself first" and all that crap, but it just isn't possible for many people, people who have someone so dependent on them 24/7, and so demanding, even if they may not mean to be. I feel your pain. I cannot imagine the stress you must be under, and I hate the unfairness of it all. You are right when you say it is the mother who is most affected, and it isn't fair. But you are in good company - women carry this world on their shoulders and get no thanks, no respect. I see what you face, just from your words. And I know there are likely days that you feel strong and others that you probably just want to run away. I don't think you are weak or whining for writing these things - it is so real and the way I wish more people would write. About real stuff!<BR/><BR/>I'm sorry that your job isn't working out. It isn't fair. You deserve to have that job and just be able to concentrate on it when you are there. But outsiders will never get it. I work with chronic headaches and I hate that I am always at an unfair advantage to my colleagues. I hate it that I complain, and that I have to make excuses, and that I have to miss time. It makes me feel like LESS and that people thing I am taking advantage. I hate that, because I am the hardest worker you will find, and the furthest from lazy. But I have to face that only a few clued-in, compassionate folks will "get it" and the rest will think I am a lazy wanker. At least YOU know who you are.And you are living a life of such integrity. <BR/><BR/>I hope that you can make some friends (I know the feeling - I have NONE either!) and try to look after your health.<BR/><BR/>Hang in there. You are not alone, although it might feel like it sometimes. You are loved and appreciated!<BR/><BR/>A big hug from me, <BR/><BR/>xoxo TerriWindlosthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17014227226507484798noreply@blogger.com